Frogger

         If you didn’t know it was really yucky weather today. Atleast where I live. I found this out when I left work today. It was cold and rainy, and rainy and cold. Did I mention it was rainy? It takes me between 50 minutes to and hour and a half to get home from work depending on traffic. That gives me a lot of time to kill. Dancing and singing in the car,  quietly listening to music, thinking about what I need to get done, and AM I THERE YET?

        Well it seems like everytime it rains it’s a Frogger buffet. If I lived farther south I could pick up dinner on the way home.  Well for some reason, whether it be sleep deprivation or not, I was really noticing the frogs tonight, and it made me think of the game Frogger I played when I was little.  Except, instead of me being Frogger, I got to drive the cars this time.  It seemed that all the frogs kept dying in the same spot of the game. Right when they made it halfway. I don’t know why they didn’t learn from the first 3,000 that died before them.  The point is to dodge the cars. I do try to avoid squishing a frog. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not gonna slam on breaks, swerve to the side or anything, just slightly slide over if I can. If not, than your loss.  I than thought that maybe the frogs didn’t realize the rules to the game and maybe thought they could squish us. Nonetheless, they were really losing this game. I swear I didn’t mean to hit that  one. (okay, maybe it was 30, but it really wasn’t my fault they were throwing their bodies in front of my car.) I felt like maybe I should take over the controller to help a few get to the other side. If they can’t make it across the road how are they supposed to finish the game by crossing the river? 

 Okay, this blog is really a little strange. Maybe I’m a little strange? Just thought I’d share.

                              

I’m NOT Stealing

          I’m moving from my current place of residence and relocating far, far away. (Which if you convert that; it might equal 6 miles away.)  I, like every other poor soul on earth despises moving. Really, who would enjoy that? Then again, you do find everything you never knew you had, and then lose it again by the time you get to the new place, and then forget all over again that you ever had it…….just saying.

          Anyway, I’m trying to get all my things packed up before I move. I am able to get boxes from my work that we would just throw away/recycle. (I’m really not sure what happens after I take them to the back room.) I have been working nights this week at work, which has allowed me to pack during the day, but hindered me in the fact that I have not been able to get that many boxes. I had run out of boxes on Wednesday, and decided since I didn’t have anymore I would take Thursday off from packing.  I went to work on Friday and my co-workers had saved me 1 whole box! Doesn’t get better than that! I went to the back to ask if I could get some before they threw them away/recycled. (still not sure what they do with them.) I was told that they had already been taken out. My luck is really bad.  One of the workers said they would set some aside for me Monday. I said thank you so much. A few minutes later the same person came and found me telling me that there were some boxes in the back that had been found and I could have them.  I dropped to my knees and kissed the feet of the great and powerful box finder! Yeah right!  (I really hope you didn’t believe that!) I said the person was extremely awesome and grabbed all my boxes. My co-worker and I went and grabbed all of our belongings and I grabbed my huge arm full of boxes before heading out.  I maneuvered out of the lounge, down the hall and elevator, and was heading toward the parking garage.  As my co-worker and I were getting closer to the door, I was telling her how awkward I felt walking out of work carrying something I didn’t bring in; I felt like I was stealing. She laughed and made a joke about making a run for it with my cardboard boxes. Just as we were about to hit the automatic doors that would take us into the parking garage, the doors froze not wanting to open all the way. It’s as if they heard my conversation and were playing a trick on me or they decided you can’t steal our cardboard boxes!!! Well I’m not stealing them so let me leave!!! I felt like Ross and Rachel on friends trying to make a fast get-a-way with a rolling desk chair trying to maneuver it out of a revolving door. Only it was nothing like, but let’s face it people it was totally like that in my head, and that’s what matters most. 

         She laughed at me as I maneuvered my boxes through the doors that didn’t want me to leave. Let me just say the doors are very rude and need to work on being more courteous. They only have two jobs. Open and Close----AUTOMATICALLY.  We then discussed that the doors often get confused when someone is coming and going at the same time and they don’t know whether to open or close or what to do. We have really creepy doors with very indecisive minds. My work might need to think about taking care of that. Well I am glad to say I finally made it out of work and to my car with my boxes that I did NOT steal. Anybody want to help me move?

Exaggerating.....I Think NOT!!!!

         

         Let me start from the beginning because I hear that’s usually the best place to start. I was sitting on my couch when I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked down and didn’t see anything, so I went back to watching my movie.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see it. It was in stealth mode. I tried to watch it out of the corner of my eye because well you know if you turn and look at it, it doesn’t move because it senses you watching it. Sneaky and cunning it was trying to be, but really when you get up on my couch and lay out on the cushions, you have lost your stealth mode. Why yes, you were sneaky breaking into my house, but now you are gonna just chill next to me on my couch.  I don’t know whether to scream in horror or pretend like I don’t see it. Would calling the police be too much? I mean it did break into MY house. That is against the law. Although I am not clearly up-to-date on laws about animals breaking into my home, but nonetheless; the point here is clearly a law of some sort has been broken.

If you saw the size of this ugly-stealth-ninja-cricket (politically correct name) you would be thinking the same thing. It was HUGE. Okay maybe that was an exaggeration, but it really doesn’t matter the size because its name is not on my lease agreement and let’s face it I don’t want to get in trouble for subletting.  

Where was I? Oh yeah, so I had to plan my next move carefully. I didn’t want to let this intruder know that I was planning my escape.  I slowly, one centimeter at a time, slipped farther and farther over until I was off the couch.  (What looks like slowly and subtly to me probably not so much to it.) Okay, I’m off the couch. Maybe I should have finished the plan of what to do once I’m off the couch before I moved. I need to find something to put it in because I don’t want to squish a ninja cricket on my couch, nor do I want to go far enough away to lose eye contact with the intruder. My answer, as if sent from the cricket gods to spare this poor creatures life, (yeah right) a shoe box was sitting with in body length’s distance away from me. It would be better for this intruder to commit cricketcide then to wait for me to catch it and put it outside and then squash it. Anyway, that’s not what happened. I grabbed the shoebox while keeping an eye on this cunning creature whom was still sprawled on my cushion enjoying itself. It was time for my stealth mode to kick in. (don’t worry, we all have one built in somewhere. Some better than others. I pretend I’m Yoda, but who doesn’t?) YES! I captured him/her not really sure how to check gender on ninja crickets. I debated on squishing it upon immediate release outside, but then I thought about how cool it would be to have the same cape as Yoda, and the stupid ninja cricket went into stealth mode disappearing into the distance to live another day.

*Disclaimer-not all parts of this were true. Sadly no ninja crickets were harmed in the making of this story. You may try this at home, but not suggested.